I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Did I show you my penis last night?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
