god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
