She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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