In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
