he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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