ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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