Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
