she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
