the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
