He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
