Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
