All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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