he wants to bone in the snuggie
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Someone shattered a urinal.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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