is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
