You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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