we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
