this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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