Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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