yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
