there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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