i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize