i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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