ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
third nipple confirmed
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
