Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it was like eating out sand paper
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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