I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
