Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize