So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
