I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
