Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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