Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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