Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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