I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Randomize
