Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
