Your tits are I can't wait for
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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