I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
