oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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