Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
