Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
