Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
