mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
tonight lets celebrate not being married
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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