hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
