ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
