found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
