i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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