The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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