On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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