i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
