Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
