At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
