Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize