Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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