I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
