I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
