we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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