Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
