Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
