You work out of a Hotel?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
